Am I There, Yet?

Maybe this sugar fast is getting to my brain, but I recently fell in love with two little critters named Hoops and YoYo (hoopsandyoyo.com).  These guys crack me up and I can’t tell you why they tickle my funny bone, because I really don’t know why.  But, when I need a giggle, I log on to see what they’re up to.  Don’t expect hysterical, laugh outloud, bust a gut funny.  Expect silly “Napoleon Dynomite” stupid funny.

The South Beach Diet is going strong and so far so good.  It’s been a little tough.  I had serious need of sugar detox.  I have to tell you, I would’ve killed for a big slice of chocolate cake today and went around whining about how awful my life is.  I hung in there, because last summer I lost 18 pounds on SBD and I know that it is so worth it.  I’m not doing this to lose weight (although that would be a nice bonus), I’m mostly doing this to detox my body and start eating healthy again.

 

So, back to the whining.  I’m sitting around, feeling sorry for myself for not being able to have a big, fat slice of chocolate cake and there are people in my country who don’t know if they’ll have a home in the morning.  My biggest problem is lack of sugar, their biggest problem is Katrina coming to devour everything they own.  That puts it into perspective a little bit.  Who am I to complain about dessert?

 

Whenever life kicks you in the butt, think of those less fortunate than yourself.  Things could be a lot worse.  You could be a starving orphan in Africa or living in fear in a war torn country or not sure of whether or not Katrina will take your home from you or dying of cancer or…O.K.  That’s enough…I’m sure you get the point.

 

P.S.  J & D…I hope you have the most amazing time in
Uganda.  I love you and I am praying for you!  I wish I could go with you.  And remember…it’s not a good idea to smuggle a baby from the orphanage home with you, no matter how cute he or she is!  J  Just kidding!  I know you’d rather bring a baby elephant home.  J  I can’t wait to see the pics.  XOXOXO

J & I went to Red
Robin for dinner on Saturday night.  We sat in the bar and there was a guy behind us who was obviously a bit intoxicated.  I couldn’t help eavesdropping on his conversation because he was practically yelling at the people he was with.  This guy was telling them how he just got his minister’s license so that he could perform his friend’s wedding ceremony.  Apparently he went online and applied for a license and got it.  He was joking about how easy it was and was thrilled to be able to say, “By the power vested in me…I now pronounce you husband and wife.”  He was bragging about how much power he received by receiving this license.  He said, “Yeah…I’ve been working on this *bleep-ing bleep* for a month now.  But it’s worth it because now I’ve got power!  Can you believe it?  I’m a *bleep-ing* minister of the gospel!”  Then he changed subjects and started to give his friends financial advice.  Would you take financial advice from a drunk? 

 

Apparently, any idiot can go online and apply for a minister’s license.  It sounds as easy as applying for a fishing license and a lot easier than applying for a driver’s license.  Maybe I should apply. 

 

From now on…I prefer for you to call me reverend.

O.K.  So, it didn’t happen today.  Why?  I didn’t prepare and then Monday showed up without my permission.  I need to get serious about this because I feel like crap.  I need to detox from sugar.  South Beach Diet…here I come!

Me.  My family (whether they like it or not!).  South Beach Diet.  Monday.  Act 1, Scene 3.  ACTION!!!

I was checking out some of the boards I frequent and was recommended a book by Lynne Hybels (a woman I admire) called Nice Girls Don’t Change The World.  I did a ‘net search and found this quoted from the book on http://www.cherylsjournal.com/ (great blog!)  I loved this so much I’m gonna buy the book.  I may just buy one for all my women small group leaders…(’cuz they rock!)

 

may we be dangerous women.

may we be women who acknowledge our power to change and grow and be radically alive for god.

may we be healers of wounds and righters of wrong.

may we weep with those who weep and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

may we cherish children, embrace the elderly, and empower the poor.

may we pray deeply and teach wisely.

may we be strong and gentle leaders.

may we sing songs of joy and talk down fear.

may we never hesitate to let passion push us, conviction compel us, and righteous anger energize us.

may we dismantle abusive systems and silence lies with truth.

may we shine like stars in a darkened generation.

may we overflow with goodness in the name of god and by the power of jesus. and in that name, and by that power, may we change the world.

dear god, make us dangerous women. amen.

…my 4 year-old was flipping through the TV channels yesterday and ran across a cartoon on TBN depicting the story of Moses leading the Israelites across the
Red Sea.  I sat there and watched it with her for a few minutes.  Right after the water washes over Pharaoh’s men and kills them, Moses (in Charlton Heston’s voice) says this (quoted directly from the King James Version of the Bible)…“Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?  Thou stretchedst out thy right hand, the earth swallowed them.  Thou in thy mercy hast led forth the people which thou hast redeemed: thou hast guided them in thy strength unto thy holy habitation.”

 

Thee?  Thou?  Thy?  Hast?  Led forth?  Stretchedst? 

 

Who talks like that?  Why are they making children believe that after Moses crossed the read sea he started speaking in old English?  On top of that…why is Moses white?  He’s Hebrew and in the cartoon he was a not-even-a-hint-of-tan white.  Even if Moses were an old-english speaking white man, he would be redder than red wandering around that dessert with no SPF 50 available.  Of course they couldn’t be completely accurate because little children probably can’t understand Hebrew.  Make it easy for them and help them understand what he said…in plain English.

 

Just more Christian sub-culture silliness.

I was feeling extremely discouraged today and absent-mindedly wandered onto blog.com and checked out some of the recently updated blogs.  I found these quotes on jingjangjung.blog.com.  Very timely.  Very true.  Very much needed.  Thanks, jingjangjung.

 

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-Hannah More

 

We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties.
-Oswald Chambers

 

 

“Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.”  James Allen

 

Why am I so discouraged?  Because I’ve taken my eyes off the goal and focused on the frightful obstacles and difficulties.  I’ve said over and over again today, “I just can’t do this.  I just cannot fight this battle anymore.  I can’t take the criticism.  I’m not equipped to handle this situation.”

 

I actually had a woman come up to me today and ask me to quit trying to run Bible Studies for the women of our church and to come back to _________ (the other women’s Bible Study not run by our church, but meets at our church and is run mostly by women from our church) and bring the young women back with me.  She asked me very politely, of course.  She said, “I wish you would…”

 

If God wants me to be a “Moses” in this area of ministry, I’m going to need an Aaron and Hur to hold my hands up…because I’m tired, weary and I feel as if we’re losing the battle.  (Exodus 17:8-16)

 

I really need help with keeping my eyes on the goal and off the obstacles.  Great timing with those quotes.  It seems like something else like this happened recently…oh, yeah…right.  I was ranting and raving one day to my friend Deb and she quietly listened to my raging madness.  Then she told me to read Romans 12.  It was just what I needed.  (Luvya Deb!)

 

I hurdle you, silly obstacles!

I love the benefits of living in my neighborhood.  I live close to an open amphitheater and I get to hear concerts for free in my backyard.  No visuals…just sound.  But it’s pretty clear sound.  Right now I’m listening to Alison Krauss.  Jack Johnson will be here Tuesday night and James Brown will be here next week.  We also got to hear Bob Dylan a few weeks ago.  Yup…I’m bragging.

 

Is that cheating?  Is that like stealing music?  I suppose I could close my windows…

 

Nah…