Am I There, Yet?

Hebrews has been my book of the month.  I’m finding a lot of solace in this book, particularly in the Faith Hall of Fame (chapter 11.)  “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews 11:1

Last night I picked up The Message and re-read through chapters 11 and 12.  I found a lot of encouragement in Hebrews 12:1-17 and enjoyed Eugene Peterson’s take on it:

1 Do you see what this means - all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running - and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. 2 Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed - that exhilarating finish in and with God - he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. 3 When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

4 In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through - all that bloodshed! 5 So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children? My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. 6 It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. 7 God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, 8 the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? 9 We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? 10 While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. 11 At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. 12 So don’t sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! 13 Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it! 14 Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. 15 Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. 16 Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. 17 You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing - but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.

Looking back, I don’t see a place where we stepped out of God’s will.  Even with the whole resignation thing.  I remember back in January when God told us it was time to jump and we received confirmation after confirmation after confirmation.  It was almost ridiculous.  I remember jokingly saying, “O.K., God…I heard you the first time!”  But, now, I’m so thankful for all of that because there’s no wavering…no questioning about whether or not we heard Him correctly.  I can look back at situation after situation and see that God was saying, “Jump!”

I highlighted the verse above (end of verse 15) because that part really jumped out at me while reading last night.  The NIV translation says, “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”  I think that’s a warning for me.  I need to examine my heart throughout this whole situation and know that God has our best interest in mind and that I need to continue to trust Him with childlike faith and not allow any bitterness to take root.  I’ve seen what bitterness can do and know that it can ruin the good work that God began in us and wishes to carry on to completion. (Philippians 1:6)

So we continue to wait and find reassurance that God is in control and is working on us because He loves us.  We know that wherever our next steps take us, that we will go only under God’s grace and recognize that we are His servants.  We won’t get there based on our great talents and wonderful abilities and charming personality.  (I’m being sarcastic…sorry!)  We will only get there because God took us there and we rely on Him to equip us for the task.

So we continue to wait…

…we all have them, don’t we?

We enrolled my daughter in kindergarten this morning.  This was very difficult for me.  It wasn’t just difficult because it’s my first child going off to school…it was difficult because it was an admission that we are still here in Oregon.  I still believe strongly in my heart that God told us to leave, but for some reason He hasn’t opened the door for us to leave just yet.  That may not make sense…but, it’s what I know.  Looking back over the past two years, I have no regrets about the decisions we’ve made about our future in ministry…so, why are we not seeing the fruit of our leap of faith…a light at the end of our tunnel?  God told us to jump.  We heard Him so clearly.  So, using the words of a friend, how come our parachute has holes in it?  I’ve been so optimistic…relying on the peace we have in our hearts…up until yesterday.  Yesterday I started to second guess some of our decisions.

I’m going to go re-read Hebrews tonight and let you know if I have any new epiphanies.  Darn that Barbarian Way!

…of picturing Jesus this way?

I have to admit that there have been times that I’ve viewed him in this light…I’m so thankful for mentors and teachers in my life who have helped me discover the true Jesus.

Don’t you hate it when people get back from vacation and have to show you all 300 pictures that they took?  Well…here are my pictures from our last couple of months. 

We started our trip in Phoenix, AZ.  This was the welcome sign as we arrived in Arizona…we knew just from this sign alone that we were going on an adventure:

Here’s the view from our condo in Phoenix.  It’s a little bit fuzzy, but we could see the downtown lights, and of course, I loved looking out at the palm tree:

Here’s our son on the back patio…showing off his artistic side:

We had a great time in Phoenix.  We got to spend a lot of time with my brother and sister-in-law.  It was really hot there…but bearable.  Give me dry heat over that humidity junk any day.  We went to a pizza place one night and the kids got to play with pizza dough while we were waiting for our table.  They thought that was the coolest thing:

Josh and I then flew to New Jersey.  We stayed in a hotel that George Washington stayed in…near a battlefield that he fought in.  There was an original Norman Rockwell painting downstairs.  It made me want to go brush up on my American history.  I loved the ancient architecture in the area…everything was so historical.  Here’s the view from our room…overlooking the Princeton tower:

One night we ate dinner at The Original Soup Man…which is the “Soup Nazi’s” franchise.  As Seinfeld fans, we were thrilled.  All of the rules were written on the wall.  The soup really was amazing:

We made our way to Philly, where we saw the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall:

After our trip back east, we loaded up the kids and drove from Phoenix to Des Moines.  While in Des Moines we caught a baseball game.  The Iowa Cubs were playing the Portland Beavers.  Our daughter learned all about baseball from her uncle and even got mad at me when I cheered for the Portland team:

Our son wasn’t thrilled about the game…but was excited to see one of his superheroes:

While in Iowa we visited Ledges State Park.  It was a really beautiful area and the kids enjoyed climbing the hills and walking through the creek:

Josh and I left the kids in Iowa with his family and headed on to Green Lake, Wisconsin for the church planting assessment.  I discovered “cheese curds” and thought it was pretty funny to see them in almost every fast food place.  Here’s a Taco Bell sign advertising this Wisconsin delicacy:

While in Wisconsin, we took a trip to Sheboygan and got to see Lake Michigan.  It felt like we were visiting the ocean…instead of a lake.  Sheboygan was a fun little town with very friendly people:

Back to Iowa to pick up the kids.  Of course, we couldn’t leave Iowa without getting a picture of the kids in front of a corn field while wearing their Iowa State Fair T-Shirts. 

The Iowa State Fair is a story in itself.  I didn’t actually go (I think the brothers-in-law were trying to keep me from going because of all the things I could make fun of. )  But, I did read about all the events in the newspaper.  What a quirky fair.  Everything is on a stick…including beer and deep-fried Twinkies.  One of the “must-sees” every year is the butter cow.  Somebody carves a cow out of butter…and this year somebody carved a superman out of butter.  Iowans are very proud of their famous people who were born there…or once lived there (but, nobody talks about the fact that none of those famous people actually stay in Iowa!)  Well, the actor who plays superman was once an Iowan and so they had to commemorate this and I’m sure Mr. Superman actor is thrilled to have a butter likeness.

Speaking of quirky…South Dakota was our next adventure.  What to say about South Dakota?  You just have to go there to truly understand.  We did take the time to drive through the badlands.  Our daughter loved it there and cried when we had to leave.  Even the rattlesnake warning sign didn’t deter her.

Here’s me and my son goofing off:

The badlands at sunset:

The next day we took the time to go to Mt. Rushmore:

Did you know that there was recently a 5th face added to Rushmore?

I think that Wyoming was one of my favorite places.  We spent the night in Cody…Buffalo Bill’s hometown.  Every night there’s a rodeo…and it’s hilarious.  You have to see it to believe it.  Wyoming is so politically incorrect…and I love it!  Where else can you see Barney the Dinosaur shoot a cowboy???

We enjoyed Yellowstone.  We saw elk, bison and even a bear.  We were eating a picnic lunch and all of a sudden this huge bison walked out of the brush and right by our table.  He walked between us and the car and I was so disappointed that I left my camera in the car because I would’ve loved to get a picture of him standing by our car.  However, I did get a picture of this bison who decided to walk out in front of us as we were driving down the road:

Here’s a picture taken from Artist’s Point…it was breathtaking to be there in person…the picture doesn’t do it justice:

Here’s my boy in front of Old Faithful:

Here’s me playing around at a lake in the Teton Park:

Here’s the last picture.  These are the Teton mountains…they’re absolutely gorgeous.  I’m reminded why I love the mountains when I look at them:

See…those vacation pictures weren’t so bad…where they? 

Fifty-four days later…we finally pulled back into town.  I’ve done a little bit of blogging along our journey…but, I haven’t blogged much about my spiritual journey.  I’ll try to put it into words at some point.  What a crazy summer.

At the beginning of the summer I posted my map.  Here’s my “before” map:

And here’s my “after” map:

create your own visited states map or check out these Google Hacks.

We were so close to Montana…we just should’ve driven over the line so I could get one more red state.  I could see Montana…but, I don’t think that counts.  I feel like a politician.  I think I’ve covered 43% of the America.    I think the eastern states would be easier to cover…they’re much smaller.

…from Cody, Wyoming.  On Sunday we drove through South Dakota and that state gets my vote for quirkiest state.  There are so many little bizarre museums and historical sites…not to mention all the “Wall Drug” signs.  We did take the time to drive through the badlands and see Mt. Rushmore.  Those were both worth the drive.  We drove through Wyoming yesterday.  It’s very serene.  I’ve heard that Wyoming is the least populated state…and I believe it.  We spent the night in Cody and went to the nightly rodeo last night.  That was fun…but not as good as the Sisters Rodeo. 

We’re headed out in a few minutes to spend the day at Yellowstone. 

We could’ve flown to all the places we needed to go, but we would’ve missed out on seeing America.  This has been a pretty surreal summer.  We’ve seen many historical monuments (Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero, the Liberty Bell and Mt. Rushmore) as well as many gorgeous locations (Sedona, Bighorn, Yellowstone, Lake Michigan, the Mississippi River, Iowa cornfields…lol…I threw that last one in to see if you were paying attention.)    I haven’t even mentioned all the interesting people we’ve met along the way.

All for now…we don’t want to waste any more time in a hotel room.  I’ll post pictures by the end of this week.

Catch you later!

We are in Wisconsin right now and enjoying ourselves…except it’s really cold today.  It’s raining…but none of that fun southwest monsoon stuff.  I’m bummed it’s raining because I wanted to get out on the lake today.  Get me back to Arizona!!! 

We just finished the church plant assessment and apparently the experts think we could pull off a church plant.  Of course I was expecting bad news either way…if they told us we couldn’t plant a church…I’d be a bit bummed that planting isn’t the direction for us.  If they told us we could plant a church…then that means we’d better go do it…which means an uncomfortable life.  I’m still trying to find scripture that tells me that we should live comfortably…but, until I find that scripture I guess I need to keep walking down the path God has laid out for us…as uncomfortable as that may be for us.  We have a break until tonight…when we start “First Steps” which is preparation for church planting.

In all seriousness, we are having a great time.  We’ve met some amazing people and have enjoyed this process.  We are also looking forward to our next step and seeing where this takes us.  Church planting does excite us…so it’ll be fun to see where this goes.

We had a break yesterday and drove to Sheboygan and saw Lake Michigan.  We’d never been to any of the great lakes…so that was fun.

This has been a great summer.  We’ve gone from Oregon, to California, to Arizona, to New Jersey, to Pennsylvania, to New York…back to Arizona, to New Mexico, to Colorado, to Nebraska, to Iowa, and now we’re in Wisconsin.  From here we’re headed to Minnesota and then back to Iowa (to pick up our kids…I miss them!!!) and then we’ll go up to South Dakota, Wyoming (Yellowstone), Idaho and back to Oregon.  Then we’ll pack another suitcase and head up to Washington and then back to Oregon where we wait until it’s time to move to one of three places.  I miss my friends…but feel richly blessed to meet new friends everywhere we go.  I can’t wait to post my pictures of our trip.  I’ll do that as soon as we get home (and back to my camera dock!)

Thanks, again, for your prayers and encouragement.  I enjoy reading all of the comments from people everywhere.

Keep rockin!

(P.S.  To all my healthy friends…an adorable elderly couple just told me that eating donuts for breakfast and ice cream right before bed makes for a healthy and happy marriage and a long life!  Something to think about…)

Our 40 days is up…

42 days ago, Josh and I packed up the kids and enough clothes and toys for 2 months and left our home in
Oregon.  Josh has been a pastor for 10 years now and he resigned his most recent position effective June 30^th.  We’ve actually known for a couple of years now that this needed to happen, but didn’t officially start the process of leaving until January…when we told our senior pastor that we were moving on and started applying for other ministry jobs.  Seven and a half months later…we’re still without a new job…and have now been unemployed for a month and a half.  This is the longest time Josh has ever been without a job since he was a teenager. 

I thought Josh would have a job by now.  This is actually kind of crazy to me.  Josh has a perfect resume.  He’s been at one church for 8 years (which is a rarity among pastors.)  He’s been in the Marine Corps and has lots of leadership training.  Plus, he’s been educated at two very reputable schools.  Every ministry he’s touched has flourished and grown.  He’s had experience leading through difficult changes in the church.  He has excellent personal character and intently seeks God’s direction in everything that he does.  He loves people and desires to see others discover life transformation in Jesus Christ.  He’s not just good at everything he does…he strives for excellence in all that he does.  He’s teachable and wants to surround himself with people (mentors, coaches, etc…) who will push him towards God.

However looking for work at an existing church is a very difficult thing to do.  In existing churches, the “HR” department is comprised of volunteers who belong to a committee formed to try to find Jesus, and only Jesus, to take the job as their pastor.  Not only does the potential candidate have to be able to walk on water and feed thousands of people with a single loaf of bread, the potential candidate must also have at least 8 years of schooling, 20 years of experience as a pastor and should be young enough to reach the younger generation and old enough to engage the older generations.  This potential pastor must have an equal passion for evangelism and discipleship.  He must be able to reach all of the “church outsiders” and bring them in to their church and preach “deep” enough to help the existing “church insiders” feel intellectually stimulated and spiritually smarter.

Every single church in America lies.  Every church says, “We’re ready for change.”  Liars.  I’d like to see one church that is honest with themselves and just say, “We don’t want to change.  We want a pastor who will come in and help us feel good about ourselves so we don’t have to leave our comfort zone.  We want a pastor who will work hard, so that we won’t have to.” 

To be honest, we haven’t exactly applied at every church that’s looking for a pastor.  We’ve been pretty picky, too.  Our philosophy of ministry doesn’t line up with a lot of churches’ philosophy.  This is one reason we’ve been pursing the opportunity to plant a church.  That way we create our own problems…rather than inherit somebody else’s.    It’s easier to build a house from the ground up than it is to remodel…if you know what I’m saying.  That’s really not the main reason for planting.  The main reason for planting is that statistics show that new church plants are more effective at reaching the un-churched people than existing churches.  That’s not to say that existing churches don’t reach out into their community, or that new plants don’t fail…but, that’s a topic for another time.

We’ve narrowed down the “where” question to three different places.  We are interviewing with an existing church in the Northeast.  We are entertaining the option of planting a church out of an existing church in the Northwest.  And, we are pursuing the option of planting a new church with some friends in the Southwest.  All other options have been removed from the table.

As I mentioned earlier, 41 days ago, we left our home.  We drove to Phoenix and spent a month there.  We then drove to Des Moines, IA to visit with Josh’s family and next week Josh and I will attend a church planter’s boot camp.  We’ll be assessed and given “church planting tools” to help us prepare for church planting.  Then we’ll head home, hopefully to pack up our belongings and move to another state to begin our new ministry.  We are trusting God to work out the details.  There are so many things that are out of our control.  When is our house going to sell?  How are we going to make our next house payment if it doesn’t sell quickly?   Where will our daughter go to school?  Should I enroll her at a school in our home town as soon as we get back and then pull her out of school within a month to enroll her in a new school in our new town?  Or, do I home-school her until we get settled somewhere?  Where will Josh get a job to support a family if he plants a church?  Which of the three options is God’s perfect will for our lives?  How will the kids adjust to a new environment?

My friend, Rikki, gave me a going-away gift before we left.  It’s a handmade paper box filled with cards.  One each card is a Bible verse.  (The box looks like one of these…top picture.)  I’ve been in the habit of picking a random card out from the box every morning before I start my morning routine.  Then, while I’m showering or blow drying my hair or brushing my teeth…I’m also spending some time contemplating the verse I read.  The day we left Phoenix, I picked out a card that had Hebrews 11:1 written on it.  It’s a familiar passage that I’ve heard all my life.  It says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  We left Phoenix a week ago and I haven’t picked out a new card…only because I’m still chewing on this one.  I’ve been reading through Hebrews…specifically chapters 10 and 11…and have found tremendous comfort during an uncertain time. 

From the outside…what we are doing could look totally insane.  Josh quits his job without having another one lined up and we go and spend almost two month away from home…dragging our family across the country…while we wait to hear from God about which of the three ministry options is the right one for us.  That’s insane.  But, I don’t feel for one minute that we’re doing the wrong thing.  I still feel like we are putting one foot in front of the other and walking down the path God has for us…one step at a time.

Here in Iowa there is an insane amount of corn fields.  We’ll be driving through the city of Des Moines and surrounding areas and we’ll see a corn field surrounded by a subdivision, a strip mall and office buildings.  It’s a part of life here.  My 3 year old son now knows the difference between beans and corn.  We drive down the road and he points out which fields grow corn which fields grow beans.  Sometimes we will drive by a field that is empty.  I’m not a farm expert, but my guess is that some fields need a break so that they can re-nourish and grow a fresh new crop the next season.  I’ve also seen fields of beans with random stalks of corn growing among the beans.  That happens when a field produced corn the season before and not all of the seeds were cleared out properly…so corn starts to grow in the bean field.  My point is that we’ve been through a season where we grew corn.  Now we are a dormant field, trying to re-nourish, so that we can be a bean field.  I don’t want to be a bean field that grows corn…so, I’m willing to wait until the proper season.  Isn’t that cheesy?  (That was actually Josh’s analogy!)

This is where faith comes in.  It takes a lot of faith to wait…to be dormant…and this is where God is working on me.  Faith requires action.  I can believe something and sit around and wait for it.  For example, Josh could’ve continued working his former job until a new one presented itself.  But, we believe that this time off is a gift from God.  This is a time of restoration.  We will be able to enter the next phase of ministry fully rested.  If we would’ve gone from one job straight to the next…we would probably have unresolved issues and start to work on our field of beans…only to find corn popping up all over the place.

That’s all I’m going to blog about for now…I have a ton of thoughts on faith from Hebrews 11…but, I think I’ll wait for another blogging session.

Please keep praying for us!  Here are our prayer requests:

• Pray for my kids this next week (and my in-laws!) while they spend time together.

• Please pray for us while we attend this church-planting boot camp…that we’ll be open and receptive to what God wants to teach us during this time

• Please pray for our car (we’ll be putting over 6,000 miles on it by the time this trip is over!) and safety on the road.

• Please pray that we will continue to hear clear direction from God about our next steps…and have continued patience during our waiting period.

Thank you!

Do you ever feel as if you are missing out on something?

I’m a closet country music fan and two of my favorite, favorite artists are Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.  I enjoy their music as solo artists…but I absolutely adore their duets.  They are so hot together.  I noticed that they were on tour and I wanted to check out dates and places to see if we could catch one of their concerts.  They are in several cities that we are visiting…so I figured that we should be able to catch them somewhere.  I figured wrong…

Tim and Faith were in Madison, WI on May 18th…we will be in Madison on August 13th.

Tim and Faith were in St. Paul, MN on May 19th…we may be in Minneapolis on August 12th.

Tim and Faith were in Philadelphia, PA on June 15th…we were in Philly on July 29th.

Tim and Faith were in New York, NY on June 23rd…we were in New York on July 30th.

T & F were in Des Moines, IA on July 15th…we are in Des Moines now (August 6th through the 12th).

T & F are going to be in Denver, CO on August 2nd…we were in Denver on August 4th.

T & F are going to be in Salt Lake City, UT on August 4th…we will be in Salt Lake City on August 21st.

T & F are going to be in Boise, ID on August 6th…we will be in Boise on August 22nd.

T & F are going to be in Portland, OR on August 8th…we will be in Portland on August 25th.

T & F are going to be in Seattle, WA on August 9th…we will be in Seattle on August 26th.

T & F are going to be in Sacramento, CA on August 12th…we were in Sacramento on July 2nd.

T & F are going to be in Los Angeles, CA on August 17th…we were in Los Angeles on July 3rd.

T & F are going to be in Phoenix, AZ on August 25th…and…of course…we left Phoenix on August 3rd.

Too bad we can’t get paid for all of our traveling!  :)  I’m working really hard on not using the word “need.”   It’s getting to be a bad, four-letter word in our vocabulary.  I use that word way too much.  I need a cup of coffee.  I need to get some new shoes.  I need to go to the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill concert.  Those aren’t needs…they’re wants.  Maybe I want to go to the concert…but, our budget doesn’t need me to spend $85 per ticket.  So…maybe I’m not really missing out on anything.  I’ll just continue to listen to my $10 Tim and Faith CDs along the road…and be perfectly happy…

So…what are you missing…or not?

We just spent the last two days driving from Phoenix to Denver.  If you ever make that trip (through Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado) I highly suggest a playlist consisting of country music…nothing else works.  We tried R & B, jazz, hip-hop and worship genres…they just didn’t feel right.  Country music is the only thing that “fits” with the background outside the windows. 

Speaking of windows…we had to get our windshield fixed…again.  We had to have it replaced in Phoenix (along with our air conditioning.)  Well, apparently the change of temperatures and elevation changes worked the seal too hard.  We were on our way to Albuquerque through a storm and water was leaking all over the floor and we kept hearing a popping sound.  It sounded like my kids jumping on bubble wrap.  The seal was coming un-sealed.

Storms in New Mexico are crazy.  We got to a point on the highway where traffic was stopped and found out later it was because a mud slide or flash flood or something closed the highway.  We were re-routed off the highway and then back on…only to see a car submerged completely in mud.  It didn’t look like anybody was hurt…but, I couldn’t help but be thankful that we weren’t around that particular spot earlier than we were.

Speaking of country music…last weekend we were in Newark, NJ and Josh told me he’d give me a dollar if I found a country music station.  I flipped through channels (most of which were coming out of New York City)…determined to find one…and finally found one coming out of Philadelphia.  Talk about culture shock!!! 

Anyways…I just wanted to let you know that we made it safely to Denver.  We leave in a few minutes to drive through Nebraska on our way to Des Moines.  Please pray that God gives us traveling mercies and that we have a restful, relaxing time as we visit with Josh’s family.  Oh…and pray that we find a Starbucks along the way…we seriously did not see one Starbucks along the highway from Pheonix until we got to Colorado Springs!    I think that was more shocking than not finding a country music station in NYC!