Am I There, Yet?

Nine years ago we were living in Eugene, Oregon.  My husband was a youth pastor at a small local church and was getting ready to graduate from college.  May 21^st started out as a day like any other.  I remember going to work and turning on the radio.  This is when the world stopped.  I heard the unimaginable…the unfathomable.  The initial report was that there were people with guns inside Thurston High School in neighboring Springfield and shots were heard throughout the school.  What in the world was going on?  Nobody got any work done that morning.  We all sat around listening to the radio for hours…trying to piece together the story…waiting for names…feeling helpless.  Everybody knew somebody who attended the school…or they knew somebody who knew somebody.  I remember the terror I felt in my heart and praying hard for the students that I knew who attended the school.

That morning, a 15-year-old boy terrorized our community.  He shot and killed his parents in their home and then went to school and shot random bullets into a crowded cafeteria.  Two students lost their lives and 25 others were injured.  Some student heroes emerged during that nightmare.  Some students, Jake and Josh Ryker and Doug and David Ure, reportedly tackled the killer and brought him down.  Some say we shouldn’t focus on the one who was responsible for the act…but the heroes.  That’s why I don’t mention the perpetrator’s name….only the names of the heroes.    

That was one of the worse school shootings in American history…at that time.  It now no longer registers on the radar when the topic of school shootings is brought up…things have gotten progressively worse.  Less than a year after the Thurston tragedy we all mourned for Columbine.  I remember watching the news and hearing people say things like, “Why us?  This sort of thing happens in other places…not here.”  My first initial thoughts to those questions were, “It happened here…what makes you think you were immune to it?”  But, I think the questions are a typical reaction.  None of us are immune to tragedy…but, none of us want to think these sorts of things could happen to us.  None of us want to (nor should we) live in fear.  I’m sure that many who are affected by the recent Virginia Tech events are asking the same question.  We always ask, “Why?”

My heart is extremely heavy those whose lives were turned upside down this week as the worse school shooting in history took the lives of 33 people in Virginia.  The parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, spouses, classmates, roommates and co-workers of the victims aren’t able to shut the TV off and go on with their lives.  These people have to live out this nightmare and grieve their tragic loss.  I’m glad that we are finally able to put some faces on the 32 victims.  It’s time to humanize each of these individuals instead of lumping them into one big faceless, nameless group.  As I look at their pictures and read their bios, it’s easy to see that each was unique.  Each one of them had skills, accomplishments, beliefs, passions, secrets, dreams, loves, and names.

Ross loved jazz music.  Jamie lived in Germany for four years.  Brian loved the Detroit Tigers.  Ryan’s nickname was Stack.  Austin was a lifeguard.  Jocelyne was originally from Nova Scotia.  Daniel was born in Peru.  Kevin served in the military.  Matthew enjoyed playing basketball and softball.  Caitlin was a sorority sister and played tennis.  Jeremy was an avid long distance runner.  Rachael was a follower of Jesus Christ.  Emily loved horses.  Jarrett just celebrated his birthday.  Matt had dreams of being an Air Force officer.  Henry’s parents are Chinese emigrants.   Liviu was a 75-year-old holocaust survivor.  G.V. was born in India.  Lauren liked science-fiction movies.  Dan played the guitar and wrote songs.  Juan was a newlywed.  Erin was a star basketball player in high school.  Michael played lacrosse and was a bartender.  Julia was environmentally conscience.  Mary loved to bake chocolate chip cookies.  Reema loved to dance and act.  Waleed was a follower of Allah.  Leslie liked to make people laugh.  Maxine wanted to breed dogs as a hobby.  Nicole had a kind heart.    

My sincerest sympathy and prayers go to those who lost loved ones.  I am so sorry that this happened and I wish there was something I could say or do to take the pain away.  I pray that this sort of thing never, ever happens again.  I pray for the safety of students and young people everywhere. 

We all continue to try…and fail…to understand.