Am I There, Yet?

 

I woke up this morning and said, “I feel like I’ve been beat up.”  Josh looked at me and said, “That’s because you had a wrestling match with a 757 last night.”

We’re home.  We pulled in around 1:00 AM this morning.  My poor daughter looked like a zombie as she climbed onto her bus this morning.  I felt so bad for her. 

Our flights weren’t too bad…actually they were great for awhile.  We flew out of Oregon right before the snow came and had a tail wind that got us to our layover quicker than expected.  We boarded our next plane to hear the captain announce that we were ready to go…so we left our gate earlier than expected.  I sat next to a mom with her adorable six-month-old baby girl.  This baby was all smiles and I couldn’t help but think that next Thanksgiving we would have a little one that same age. 

I found out later the new mom sitting next to me was a nurse.  I have sinus issues and nothing brings out the worse in them than a plane ride.  My sinus pressure last night upon our descent into Philly was the worse I’d ever experienced.  I was in tears.  I thought my head was going to explode.  I could feel pressure behind my eyes, in my forehead, in my ears and then it moved from the top of my neck and down my spine.  The nurse/new mom took the lid off my water bottle and measured three droppers full of her infant Tylenol into the lid and gave it back to me.  I took it and was surprised at how quickly it started to work to take the edge off the pain.  I could still feel the pressure, but the edge was gone within minutes.  I was so grateful for this stranger’s kindness.

This got me thinking about my own random acts of kindness.  I think I’ve turned a little too “Jersey” in this past year.  It’s easy to get caught up in the culture.  I find that I’m always “on a mission.”  Get through the grocery store…get to my destination…do it all as quickly as possible.  I’m just another number here.  I’m one more person in front of somebody in a check-out line…I’m just one more car on the road getting in the way of others’ destinations…I’m just one more customer in line for a haircut.  However, I believe that you get what you give and people here are friendly…the friendliness just needs a little coaxing.  A smile can do the trick.  A simple “Hi” can throw somebody off.  Taking the time to help somebody in need will do wonders.  How often do I do that?  Not often enough…if at all.

It’s good to be home, but I have a to-do list a mile long and I can’t even begin to think about it until we finish our moving project.  I have today and tomorrow to clean our previous house.  It’s a daunting task to me right now, but I just need to get it started.  With so much to do I’m reminded that I still need to take time out to notice and appreciate the people around me.  Everybody deserves kindness.

 

I had a weird morning.  It started with a phone call at 6:00 AM.  It took me a second to remember I was still in Oregon and that it wasn’t too strange to be getting a phone call that early considering it was 9:00 at home.  It was my doctor’s office.  They wanted to discuss some test results.

This is never good news.  You never have a doctor call you at home to say, “Congratulations…everything looks great!  There’s nothing wrong with you.”

A few week ago I was scheduled for a first trimester screening which included a Nuchal Translucency Screening and a Quad Screening.  The doctor told me that since my insurance covered both of these tests I should have them done.  I scheduled the appointment and on the day of the NTS appointment I had some scheduling conflicts.  A friend of mine is an OB nurse, so I asked her what the test was for (I knew it was an optional test.)  She told me that the NTS is an ultra-sound that will help the doctor assess the risk of Down syndrome and other abnormalities in the baby.  She said it’s controversial because there are quite a few false positives which just creates extra stress for the mom.  She also asked me, “What is knowledge?”  If I know that my baby has a risk for Down syndrome what would I do about it?  I wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy…that goes against everything that I believe.  It would give me a couple more months to read up on raising a Down syndrome child.  (I ended up canceling the NTS because of the schedule conflict and I went and had the Quad Screening done at a lab last week.)

Yesterday I ran into another nurse friend of mine.  She is a NICU nurse and the conversation turned to age and pregnancy.  I told her that I didn’t want to have any more pregnancies after the age of 35, so if we wanted another baby I would have to get pregnant within six months of having this one in order to miss that cut-off.  I was only joking, but she asked what my fear was.  I told her that I didn’t want to have an amnio…that freaked me out.  She reminded me that the amnio is optional and then asked me, “What is knowledge?”  Again…knowing that there may be some “abnormality” with my child won’t change my desire to love it and care for it and raise it to the best of my ability with God’s help.

This morning when I heard the doctor tell me she wanted to discuss the test results with me I knew what she was going to say and in my mind I heard both of my friends ask me, “What is knowledge?”  My doctor told me that my Quad Screen came back positive for Down syndrome.  She did proceed to tell me that the results aren’t 100% conclusive and that I needed to go see a specialist who will consult with me, perform an ultra-sound and then do an amnio so that they can get a better picture of what was going on.  To me the positive results are “soft.”  I’ve learned that there are “hard” results and “soft” results.  Hard results are 100%…soft results are inconclusive and don’t worry until more tests are done.  I wasn’t given a reason to worry.

When I got off the phone with the doctor, one of my favorite verses ran through my head.  Ironically it was a verse that I heard quoted at church yesterday.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6,7

About 20 minutes later I got another phone call.  Somebody from my doctor’s office noticed that the lab had worked out the test results based on me being 16 weeks pregnant when I was really only 13 weeks pregnant at the time of the screening.  She called the lab and asked them to re-work the results and they weren’t able to do that with the sample they had.  So, she told me that she’s going to hold off on making the appointment with a specialist because they want to do the Quad Screen again.  She said that could make a big difference in the results.  So, I go back next week and have more blood taken from my body and we’ll just wait and see what happens.  This may just be a little glitch…a hiccup in the process. 

But, I’m not going to stress.  There’s nothing to stress about.  The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind.

 

Hello from Oregon and Happy (day after) Thanksgiving.  We spent most of our Thanksgiving in airplanes and airports.    We woke up at 3:00 AM (Eastern time) to get to the airport on time.  The kids did really great.  On our first flight I sat next to a woman from Iran.  She was originally sitting in an emergency exit row and was told to move because she couldn’t speak English.  She was very confused about all of that and was in tears by the time she sat down next to me.  I was able to have a little bit of conversation with her.  With our limited communication skills I picked up that she was 70 years old, has two grown children…a daughter in Philadelphia (with whom she just spent a week with) and a son in Anchorage (where she was headed).  She was in the states visiting her children and seven grandchildren.  She was very sweet and even offered me half of her banana.

When we landed in Salt Lake City, my darling son asked if we were going to ride on the subway.  I had to laugh because I’m sure that the only subway SLC has is one where you go to buy a sandwich.  He’s pretty cute.

We had a three hour, thirty minute layover in SLC.  I thought about calling a cousin of mine and crashing his Thanksgiving plans.  But, we passed the time by counting missionaries boarding flights and placing bets on which flights they were getting on and having bad airport food.  Surprisingly, the restaurant we chose (a Chinese restaurant) was crowded and there were no seats available by the time we got our food.  So, the four of us found a spot on the floor and started our feast.  I couldn’t help but notice a table of four next to us of some 40-something non-eaters sitting and chatting.  They glanced over at our family…two children and a pregnant mom trying to eat a Thanksgiving feast of Chinese food on the dirty floor of an airport restaurant, but none of them made any effort to give up their comfortable chairs and move on.  I also couldn’t help but notice they were covered from head to toe in Boise State Bronco stuff.  One guy even had BSU socks and his wife’s carry-on was also orange and blue. 

I won’t hold that against all Boise State fans.

Our last flight wasn’t too bad until the last 30 minutes.  I started feeling really sick right before landing…praying that my head wouldn’t explode or that I wouldn’t throw up.  Fortunately, neither happened.  We lost no luggage, found the car easily and made it to my parents’ house just in time for a real Thanksgiving feast.  Mmmmmmm….It was all worth it.

Oh…we did run into a little issue at the airport…I almost forgot.  Josh ALMOST turned Jersey on the parking lot attendant.  I say almost because he did refrain.  He was in line to pay the toll and the attendant was chatting it up with the guy in front of him…asking him what his Thanksgiving plans were…blah…blah…blah…  You have to understand that we see toll booth and parking lot attendants almost daily at home and NOBODY stops to chat.  A riot would break out if somebody took too long at a toll booth.  Anyways…I’m proud to note that Josh remembered he was in Oregon and he didn’t touch the car horn.

The kids and I went to bed at 7:00 PM (Pacific Time.)  That sound wimpy…but considering we had been up for 19 hours I would say that’s not too bad.  Of course we were wide awake at 5:00 this morning.

My dad said I should do some shopping this morning.  That wasn’t a bad idea considering that I’m still on the eastern time zone…so 5:00 in the morning isn’t really that early.  Also, there is no sales tax in Oregon and the crowds and traffic here don’t compare to the crowds and traffic I deal with back home.  Shopping would’ve been a breeze.  However, I don’t have room in my suitcase for Christmas presents and the cost to ship my finds would out-weigh the no sales tax thing.  So, I opted to stay home. 

The kids are having a fantastic day with their grandma.  She took them to Barnes and Noble where they picked out some new books and drank hot chocolate.  Then they went to Blockbuster to pick out a couple of DVDs.  They came home and helped her make chocolate brownies, watched a movie and played cards all afternoon. 

Josh and I took advantage of the time they were at Barnes and Noble and walked to Starbucks.  Yes…I said we WALKED to Starbucks.  Anybody who knows me knows my complaint of not having any good coffee shops near where I live…that was the biggest culture shock I had to deal with when we moved back east.  I still whine about that a year later.  Not only were we able to walk to Starbucks this morning…but we had THREE Starbucks to choose from within walking distance.  THREE!!!  I think Josh used the word, “Surreal.”  Of course, he may have been talking about the mountain views…I just had coffee on my brain.

I took a nap this afternoon.  I’m still not feeling 100% after yesterday’s flight.  Josh ran the butte.  He definitely noticed the elevation difference.  Running at 3,000 feet is much different than running at sea level.  He has a grappling tournament coming up a week from Sunday and wants to run everyday while he’s here so he can raise his stamina levels.

We’re having a lot of fun.  It’s great to be back.  It’s great to spend time with family.

Oh…one more cute little thing from my son.  Right before lunch Josh picked up one of his school books and was catching up on some reading.  He fell asleep in the chair while he was still holding the book.  Titus was the first to notice this and he said, “Wow!  Daddy is sleeping and reading at the same time!  How do you do that, Dad?  I want to learn how to do that!”

 

O.K.  I have to make up for that last post.  Whine, whine, sniffle, sniffle.  I’ve been reading through Proverbs lately and it’s a constant reminder to me of how I want to live my life.  I personally have a difficult time hanging out with whiners and complainers and I love to hang around optimistic people.  Whiners take…Optimistic people give.  I want to be an optimistic person.  I want to be a giver.  I want to be a person that others enjoy being with.

Proverbs is full of sayings that begin with words like, “A happy heart…” or “A cheereful look…” or, “A generous man…”

I read one this morning that I really liked, “He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.”  (Pv. 21:21)  I really liked that because I believe that love is fulfillment in life.  I’d be lost without people to love and people who love me.

Anyways…in spite of my previous whining post…I’m happy.

We’re not downsizing because we have to…we’re downsizing as a choice.  It’s all about quality of life.  Our family has lived in beautiful homes with lots of space and we’ve lived in tiny homes with not much room.  The thing that I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter what building you live in…the most important thing is peace in the home.  I have a happy and healthy family.  We enjoy being together and we know how to make each other laugh.  My son made me laugh out loud several times today…he’s such a kick.  My daughter is wise and responsible beyond her age.  I marvel at some of the things she says.  My husband adores me and loves to spend time with me.   What more could I ask for?

One more thing that I’m grateful for…the weather has been amazing!  It’s currently 63 degrees.  I’ve been running errands all day and haven’t had to put my coat on.  Also, the fall colors have hit its peak.  Wow!  I woke up about a week ago to the brilliance I’ve been waiting for.  Up until last Wednesday there was still mostly green on the trees.  Not anymore.  The colors are breathtaking and I just want to be outside breathing it all in.  It makes running the kids around a lot more pleasant.

I’m looking for somebody to adopt me.  They must live nearby and act as a sister, mom or friend.  My network lives 3,000 miles away…which doesn’t come in handy when I’m trying to move.  I don’t normally ask for help…but…HELP!!!???!?!?  Somebody?

I actually have most of the work done.  The last box is packed.  Most of our furniture and larger items are already over at the new place.  But, since we’re downsizing by so much it was hard to judge what will fit into the new place and what needs to go into storage.  I still think I mis-judged what can fit into the new place. 

I think, for some reason, this has been our most difficult move.  And that’s saying a lot.  We’ve lived in 8 homes in 12 years of marriage…that’s not counting the 11 homes I lived in pre-marriage.  We’ve downsized before…but it was only for a very short time.  This time my kids are older and they’ll be sharing a room again and we’ll be adding another family member.  Who knows where the baby will live?  She/he will have to share a small corner of our room…hopefully she/he won’t require too much stuff. 

I’m exhausted.  Not only am I dealing with all the pregnancy stuff and trying to keep my children’s lives as normal as possible…I’m also trying to pack, clean and move stuff from our old place and unpack and organize everything into our new place on a very limited time schedule. 

Thanksgiving?  When’s Thanksgiving?  Tomorrow?  Yikes!

Tomorrow we’re flying back to Oregon to spend some time with my family and friends.  We’re really looking forward to it and I hope that I’ll be able to forget about all the stuff I still need to do back here so we can enjoy our time as much as possible.

Whew…thanks for letting me whine.

 

Last weekend was girls’ weekend.  Five of my girlfriends from Oregon flew out for an east coast adventure.  Before they got here they gave me a list of “must sees” and a few “would like to see if we have time.”  Their “must see” list included The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, The World Trade Center site, Central Park, Radio City Christmas Spectacular, and Rockefeller Center / The Today Show.  A birthday dinner for one of our friends was also a must.  Their “would like to see if we have time” list included the Federal Hall, The Museum of Modern Art and The Chocolate Show.  I was also told that some of them wanted to see the Liberty Bell and eat an authentic cheesesteak in Philly…because that’s the city they flew into and out of. 

I knew this was an exhausting list for the short amount of time that we had, but somehow we managed to fit most of it in.  The girls flew into town Thursday evening.  By the time we stopped for dinner and got home, we didn’t get to bed until midnight.  Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but they were all determined to go to The Today Show the next morning.  We had to leave our house by 4:30 AM in order to catch the train into the city to get to Rockefeller Center on time.  We did it.  Six women were dressed and looking beautiful and in the car by 4:30ish after going to bed at midnight the night before.  I don’t think that very many people could accomplish this.

We got to the city and got a spot on the fence to watch the Today Show.  None of us made it on TV, but we did get to see Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira, Al Roker, Natalie Morales and Giada De Laurentiis up close and personal.  We also got to see another celebrity arrive…the famous Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree.  We saw it pull into it’s new temporary home in the plaza while we were there.  That tree is massive.  I can’t wait to see it lit up…it’s going to be gorgeous.

We hung out at the Today Show for awhile.  It was extremely cold so some of us wimpier ones (or smarter ones…depending on which way you look at it) decided to take a break inside Dean and Deluca. 

After the Today Show we went to Radio City Music Hall to watch The Christmas Spectacular with The Rockettes.  I loved it.  I would love to go back and take the kids…it was really fantastic.  My favorite part was the toy soldiers…they were mesmerizing. 

After the show we went to lunch at one of Bobby Flay’s restaurants, Bar Americain.  It was everything I expected it to be…excellent food and a great atmosphere.  It was a fun place for a birthday lunch.

Even though it was raining and cold, the troopers wanted to trek up to Central Park.  While we were there we picked out a geo-cache and then some of the girls took a horse and carriage ride through the park.  We all met up at FAO Schwarz and picked up some gifts for those we left at home.

Several museums in Gotham City open up to the public for free on Fridays after 4:00.  So we decided to take advantage of that since The Museum of Modern Art was on the “would like to see if we have time” list.  As you can imagine, most of us were pretty tired by that time and the museum was pretty crowded…so we only spent an hour there.  But, I think the girls got a good picture of what it was like.  It’s more of a place you want to go to during the week when it’s less crowded and you have an entire day to soak it all in.

Our last stop of the day was Times Square where we stopped at Junior’s and ate cheesecake for dinner.  O.K., some of us threw a bowl of soup and/or salad into their tummies before devouring cheesecake…but I have to admit that cheesecake was our main course.

Whew…long day.  We survived the day even with lack of sleep, cold weather, rain and the overwhelming nature that NYC can be for first timers…not to mention they had to deal with a pregnant tour guide.  Somebody give the girls a gold star.

On Saturday we decided to sleep in and take things more slowly.  We got to the city around lunch time.  It was another cold day…but the rain stayed away.  That was a huge plus.  We vetoed the Chocolate Show and went to Chelsea Market for lunch.  I had some curried chicken chowder and I’ve been craving it ever since.  It was delish! 

After lunch we wandered around downtown and stared at things.  We saw the World Trade Center site, Wall Street and Battery Park.  The girls seemed to enjoy the street vendors.  After wandering and staring, we went to Union Square where we had a nice leisurely dinner at Max Brenner.  Actually…this was another dinner where the dessert was the main course.  I think it was a hit with the girls.

After dinner we stopped at Macy’s before heading back to Jersey.  I think the girls underestimated this store…not realizing that it’s seven stories and covers an entire city block.  I think that if you were to put all the shopping centers from our home town in one place it still wouldn’t cover the square footage of Macy’s in NYC.  They enjoyed seeing the wooden escalators and I was thrilled to see the Times Square New Years Eve ball up close and personal.  It was gorgeous…much more fascinating to look at in person than on TV. 

Sunday was another low-key day.  We went to church.  Josh preached.  Some of the girls mentioned how bizarre it was to be in an unfamiliar church and yet know the preacher so well.  After church we went to The Original Soup Man (aka The Soup Nazi for Seinfeld fans) for lunch and then we drove to Liberty State Park where we hopped on the Circle Line Ferry and spent some time at the Statue of Liberty.  I think we got there with great timing because we grabbed the last ferry off the island and were able to see the Manhattan skyline at dusk.  It was beautiful.

That pretty much sums up our adventure.  The girls vetoed the Liberty Bell and cheesesteak on Monday, so I just took them straight to the airport and dropped them off.  I think they were ready to get home and catch up on some sleep.  Little ol’ pregnant me wore them out  …whodda thunk?  Of course I am the youngest of the group…hahaha!  Sorry…that was a low blow.  J

Anyways…I hope they left with no regrets.  I’d hate for one of them to be sitting at home thinking, “I wish we could’ve seen that” or “I wish we would’ve made time to do this.”

There’s always next time.

 

I just got back from a weekend away from my family.  (I’ll blog about that later.)  Last night I was sitting with my family on the couch.  I admit that I was feeling a tad bit depressed while I sat there.  I was listening to them interact.  Lilly was doing her homework and Josh was reading a book with Titus.  I noticed the peace in the room…everybody looked content and happy.  All of a sudden a warm feeling came over me and I realized that I have something extremely special.  I have a loving and happy family.  That is the greatest thing in the world and I couldn’t ask for more.  No matter what the outside circumstances may be…it’s so important to have that safe place to fall.  A family should be the ones who love you unconditionally…the ones who are happy to see you no matter how long you’ve been gone…the ones who accept all of your little quirks…the ones who “get” you.

As we went through our nightly routine, I could feel the love in the house.  The giggles at bedtime, the hugs, the kisses, the prayers…all are things we take for granted sometime and yet…they’re the most important things.  It’s my desire that my children are raised in a home where they can come home after a rough day at school and know that their mom and dad love them just the way they are.  It’s important to me that they have a safe place to fall when the rest of their lives are off-balance.  I want people to feel love when they come into my home…no matter how big or small that home is…no matter how clean or dirty that home is…no matter how pretty or shabby that home is.  Love is the most important thing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.    

Josh sent me this quote recently, “Home is not about a place to live but about the people with whom you are most fully alive.”  I truly felt that last night.

I’m not a big fan of Daylight Saving Time.  I only love it when it ends.  I love getting that hour back in the morning…it makes life so much easier.  These past couple of days has been heavenly.  There hasn’t been a whole lot of rushing around to catch the bus on time…there’s been more happy conversations and healthier breakfasts made.

Maybe I need to move to Arizona or Hawaii…that way I don’t have to deal with DST.

I always feel like I can take a big breath on November 1^st.  With both of my kids’ birthdays and Halloween all crammed into the last two weeks of October,  I always feel over stimulated at this point.  But, it was all fun.

I think I mentioned what we did for Titus’ birthday but I didn’t mention anything about Lilly’s birthday.  She’s a funny girl.

We skipped the Pumpkin Festival because of the rain, however we told her we would still take her to the city and she could do whatever she wanted to do.  When we got to Manhattan, she told us we were going to Max Brenner for lunch.  No arguments from us.  After lunch, we took her to Build-A-Bear.  She had never been there before.  She skipped all the bears and went straight towards the dogs.  A husky caught her eye.  After stuffing and grooming the dog it was time to pick out an outfit for the dog.  I wanted her to see all the options before making a decision.  We walked through the section that had some adorable girlie clothes.  Anything a little girl could dream up…tiaras, ballerina outfits, princess outfits, high-stylin’ fashion clothes.  She just rolled her eyes at all of it.  “Mom…I’m just not into fashion.”  She then found a Yankees uniform that she really liked but was swayed from that decision when she saw the karate uniform with inter-changeable colored belts.  “Mom!  I can change the dog’s belt to a different color every time I get a new colored belt!”  She was so excited.  She named the dog Sensei.

We wandered around Rockefeller Center for awhile.  We picked up a new game at Nintendo World and picked up a thank-you gift for a friend at Teuscher.  We watched the people trying to groom the ice rink in the rain.  I made the kids stand on top of the famous Rockefeller Center tree stand and act like a tree.

Around dinner time I asked Lilly where she wanted to go for dinner.  She insisted on going to ESPN Zone.  What 7-year-old girl wants to go to a sports bar for her birthday?  Josh wasn’t going to argue with her.  It was game day so we had a 45-minute wait for a table, but we spent it in the arcade upstairs.  It was worth the wait because when we were seated we just happened to be seated right in front of the biggest screen I’ve ever seen in my life that just happened to be broadcasting the Oregon/USC game.  WOW!  It was fantastic.  It was the 2^nd best thing to being there.  Even the kids were excited and were cheering along with the crowd.  I suspected a good friend of mine was at the game, so I texted her.  She was.  It was fun to be able to watch the same game…even though we were 3,000 miles apart.  Great game.  Great win.  It made me miss my college days living across the street from Autzen Stadium. 

It was a fun day.

Halloween was fun.  The kids dressed up as Pirates of the Caribbean pirates:

We played the party circuit.  After school we took the kids to two different parties…one at their karate school, the other at church.  What do I say about that?  Josh and I left the church party kinda depressed.  The reason?  Our church in Oregon throws an over-the-top elaborate excellent pumpkin party every year and I think it’s safe to say that they have over 1,000 kids show up.  It’s fun, it’s crazy, it’s the place to be.  It was hard not to compare.  We are now in a church that is twice the size as our former church…but the pumpkin party was maybe 25% of what we’re used to.  That’s being generous.  I doubt there were more than 100 kids there.  It made us a bit home-sick.

On the positive side…this was the first year that the kids didn’t have to wear winter coats, scarves, mittens and hats over their Halloween costumes.  LOL!!!

Oh…one last thing.  Lilly lost another tooth the night before Halloween.  It was great because she had the perfect jack-o-lantern smile for Halloween: