Am I There, Yet?

I have to admit that I’ve been avoiding public places these days.  I just get a little embarrassed at times by all the stares and comments about my large belly.  I’m short.  My belly sticks straight out because there’s nowhere else for the baby to go.  It may look odd to people, but it shouldn’t.

Just today, I dropped Titus off at his school and the director looked at me with a highly sympathetic look and asked me how much longer until the baby is born.  I told her two weeks.  She replied by saying she thinks it’ll be much sooner than that.  I told her I hoped it would.  As I was leaving I caught a glimpse of a mom and dad dropping off their son and when the dad saw me his eyes got huge and he said, “WOW!”  I know he wasn’t trying to be rude.  I just don’t like all the attention and I’ve been getting a lot of “wows” and “whoas” lately.

Last Friday, Josh and I went out to lunch after dropping Titus off at school.  I was walking by a group of people enjoying their lunch when all of a sudden I heard a guy teasingly say to his wife or girlfriend, “Hey look, Honey!  That could be you pretty soon.”  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the entire table turn to look at me and I heard a collective, “Whoa!” followed by laughter.

I’m trying all the home remedies to speed up this labor.  I’m doing everything from drinking chamomile tea to walking.  This last weekend I decided to be a mall walker.  I was walking through the mall and stopped to look at some adorable baby shoes.  A pregnant woman and her mom were standing next to me.  The mom (soon-to-be-grandmother) started a conversation with me by asking me when I was due.  The conversation moved in the direction of whether or not I was having twins.  This is a typical question.  Throughout the entire conversation, the pregnant daughter stared at my belly in horror.  I’m sure she was trying to imagine herself being this big and from the look on her face I don’t think she liked the prospect.

Last week at my doctor’s appointment I was walking out of the building and there was a woman outside talking on her cell phone.  She stopped mid-sentence and said, “WOW!  Somebody’s having a baby!”  I’m sure the person she was talking to was thoroughly confused.

I will admit that I’ve gotten into more conversations with strangers over the past three months than I have in the entire time we’ve lived here.  Most of the time, I don’t mind the conversations.  The stares make me uncomfortable.  I try to ignore them.

But, for that reason, I try to stay at home as much as possible.  I’m a hermit.

Pretty soon this will all be just a memory.  (That’s what I keep telling myself.)

Speaking of conversations…(this is completely unrelated)…I had a silly conversation last Wednesday.  After church we took the kids to Baskin Robbins for the 35 cent ice cream cones.  When it was my turn I asked, “Do you have any sugar-free flavors?”  The lady said, “No we don’t.  Would you like a soft serve cone instead?”  I asked, “Is it sugar-free?”  She looked at my like I was the one who was nuts and said, “No.”  I turned her down.  If I don’t want a scoop of ice cream because it has sugar in it, why in the world would I want a soft serve cone with sugar in it?